Category: Let's talk
well this week the government are set to announce plans for school s to stay open from 8 in the morning until 6 at night to benefit working parents. It just seems to me these days that parents have a baby and that's it! as soon as the baby is a couple of months old they stick it into nursery and go straight back to work! people just aren't bringing up their own kids any more, and why? because people can't give up their lifestyle! now i fully appreciate that there are some parents who have to work for financial reasons, but i think that more often than not, people just won't make the sacrifice and lessen their hours and spend those first few years bringing up their children! And now we're going to leave them in school for longer as well - hurray for the working parent! not! is it any wonder the kids of today are running riot - the parents could care less!
yep, and thats unfortunate.
I hear you SB. Same here in many areas. We have what is called “latch key programs” so that instead of a child being alone by themselves in their own homes they can arrive at school early where also if they are from low-income families they can receive a free breakfast. Then when school lets out for the day at 3 pm they can go to the gym and/or library areas and stay till 6 pm. To take part in both recreation as well as do homework in the library where too usually a computer or two is set up and available for use. The thing though is that some parents are at work before the school doors open for the day. When my sons were young I took in a neighbor boy whose dad dropped him off at my place at 6 am. And he would be at my home till easily 6-7 pm. There were those that would say to me, “I thot you had 2 sons and I didn’t know you had 3,” because this child was with us seemingly all the time. I never had the heart to say, “No, he is not my son.” I knew he was listening and wanted so much to be apart of our family and the thing is he was a part and these many years later I still feel he is one of my sons when I run into him somewhere and we grab each other in a hug. It got to where he even vacationed with us and on a few occasions he called my husband “Dad.” He would holler in the park like our sons and say, “Hey Dad. I’m over here!” as he would run and play. This was a family where both parents were in high level management and where each one easily made enough to live off of the one’s income. The Mom in this family had grown children from a previous marriage and openly said she only had the baby because her husband had never had a child and wanted one so bad. She refused to give up her job and he did take it eventually upon himself to retire early as he realized his son meant more to him than the added money. When my sons were infants I could not stand the thot of being away from them. Yes, the added income would have been of help but I did not have my children for others to raise. Now that they are grown all the more I treasure those times I had with them and would not have given it up for anything. Too soon they are grown and on their own though at times when they are growing up it does seem that some days are so complicated that they will never end. Connie
<Now that they are grown all the more I treasure those times I had with them and would not have given it up for anything. Too soon they are grown and on their own though at times when they are growing up it does seem that some days are so complicated that they will never end. Connie>
Connie, once again you have said it all, and so eloquently! I totally agree with what you say and you SB, my kids are not quite grown up, but I would hate to have missed out on the time I spent with them when they were little even though it wasn't easy. It is frightening how quickly it goes and before you know they are about to leave home. Make the most of it...
yeh very well put both connie and Freya. Thing is though, I can't understand how parents can do it, is it just that some are more maternal than others? My son starts nursery tomorrow and already I'm feeling guilty about leaving him at the door and walking away. so how is it that someone can put their three month old baby into nursery from 8 in the morning until 6 at night and go to work? and believe me it does happen. I remember having a conversation with a neighbour when she put her baby into nursery and she said "it'll be good for him, he's such a sociable child", and remember thinking that at 3 months old, this child does not need to be removed from his parents so that they can maintain their lifestyle, or so that she can keep up her career! And how many people claim that they have to work full time for financial reasons? well the nursery local to where I live charges £175 per week to put a child in there full time, that's not far off £800 a month! in my view, you'd have to be bringing home a serious amount of cash to justify paying out that kind of money every month, and most women definitely do not.
Tomorrow will not be easy for you SB and then too the next week or even two may equally not be very easy. It takes time to make the adjustments to having your little one not around all the time when once that was the situation... I know in the school area here they encourage parents to take an active part like helping once a week with bringing in cookies, helping to cut up apple and orange wedges etc... Also you may find that each new school year the first few days to be difficult. I know I did as so much I enjoyed having my sons with me over summer vacation. Remember it is o.k. to cry (though perhaps more so privately) for this is an emotional loss in some respects, just plan to add some extra interests into your life and don't simply mop around. Get on with living. All the Best to you as your child starts nursery school. I know what you are going through.
I think that if this extra time in school is used to channel the energy of the children, it'll be a good thing. I think that if children were given more opportunities in sports during this time such as swimming or soccer, or athletics, then it would be a good thing. I think that youth crime would go down because children have something else to do. Schools already have homework clubs so this isn't entirely revolutionary. Also children could be given opportunities in music. I used to be in bands which were for people in high school and we used to work after school. These are positive things. It doesn't necessarily mean that kids are spending less time with their parents, if they weren't at school, they may be on the street hanging out with people their age.
ww I agree to an extent that such a scheme would keep some of the older children off the streets and that them being involved in more sports ... etc would at least mean they had a purpose and weren't hanging around shopping centres terrorising the neighbourhoods etc, but we're not just talking older kids here, we're talking kids as young as 5, and for a child that young, it just isn't natural to be kept in school for that long. essentially the parent can drop off the child at 8, go to work, pick it up at 6, the child having eaten all its meals at school, take it home, bath it, put it to bed, and get on with their own lives! essentially, the parent won't have to do anything for the child during the week.
hmm, so well, lets say, I go to a weekly school. Of course, my parents had a hard time the first days of school, well and they just missed me... so well they bought me a cellphone just to keep in touch! well, i just have to say that with my age is OK to be at schools like this since you need to learn and refine your independance skills. But as young as 5 or 6 is well, extreme.
Hmmm, I always feel unqualified to post to parenting questions, when there's people who actually know what they're talking about... but I don't see how smoothing the way for parents to spend less time with their kids is possibly a good thing in a time when balancing career and family is already so delicate. I went to pre-primary part-time when I was 5, which wasn't compulsory but was generally recommended then, and now it's compulsory to send kids part-time when they're 4 and full-time when they're 5, with talk of extending compulsory education down to 3-year-olds. I know this isn't exactly what you're talking about SB, but there does seem to be this tendency to turn over the raising of kids more and more to the government system. This has the two-fold result of bringing uniformity to childhood experience and education, and also reducing parents' responsibility for, and influence over their kids. Personally, I don't think either is a good idea.